the other side

on the other side of hurt, there is something special.

but before you cross over, you have to really go through it.

people are so afraid to hurt. people like you, friend. one of the first things you said to me when he broke your heart was that you would never fall so hard again. you cited that your problem was that you fall too hard, too fast and that you want to be protective of your heart.

my response was harsh, i’ll admit that. but there was sincere validity to it.

i said: i love you, but you are saying so many dumb things right now.

and you were saying dumb things. not due to a lack of intelligence, (you’re one of the smartest women i know) but mostly due to the incapacity to see and believe in the other side of hurt.

friend, listen to me.

you have to hurt. and you need to know how to hurt. you have to acknowledge the experience or the person or the situation that made you crumble. you have to realize why you crumbled and not only identify, make sense of and understand it, but you have to learn to love it. let yourself hurt and really feel everything there is to it.


if the tears are stuck in a lump in your throat: let them soak your face.

 ..if there are screams or vulgarities that need to be freed from your lungs: let them out.

……        if you lose your appetite and cannot eat a thing: don’t eat a thing.

 ……            if you need to stuff yourself into a food coma: bon appétit.

………….         if you need to hit your credit limit via retail therapy: swipe away.


but you must allow yourself to feel all of the pain and doubt and anger. do not shy or run away from one of the most valuable experiences that life has to offer. and don’t you dare put up a wall. the more vulnerable you allow yourself to be, the better. and i’m not saying that you will hurt less when things happen to you. although that would be great, we are not robots.

i am saying that the more vulnerable you push yourself to be, the more fortitude you gift yourself with to handle the hurt.

eventually, you will cross over. and it sounds twisted, but you will learn to love the pain. and then you will learn to seek it out. i’ll reiterate that for further emphasis; you will begin to seek out challenging and potentially painful situations. and through this, you will meet the most beneficial people, embark on the most transformative experiences and grow in ways that you would have never conceptualized before.

on the other side of hurt, there is something special.

it’s growth, fearlessness, vulnerability and strength.


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One thought on “the other side

  1. This was a wonderful piece! So many truths.

    Texas Real Estate Commission Information About Brokerage Services

    Texas Real Estate Commission Consumer Protection Notice

    Bethany Lainhart, ABR, BPRO, CHMS, GRI
    Broker/Owner / Sycamore Homes Realty, LLC
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say it to my face, dude. (enter your comment below, i love all forms of feedback)

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