music can take your mind to very specific places. music has the ability to take you back to a time in your life. music can make you close your eyes and feel as if he was still holding your hand or touching your mouth or flipping through a wine menu at a fancy restaurant but looking up at you every so often and making you melt. feelings are strong. music is stronger.

i’m listening to b.b. king right now but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to.

i chose you, you didn’t choose me back. 

i’m mad. i never get mad. the music makes me mad now.

the thrill is gone and i need you to feel what i’m feeling and i’ll somehow show you with my words. because i know you read them.

you know, the last post wasn’t about you, but i titled it that way for a reason. you interpreted it the way you wanted to. and maybe the way i wanted you to, but to be fair, there was a picture of her at the bottom. the post was about my best friend; someone you might get along with considering you both think i’m disposable.

and that’s fine, i’ve always encouraged people to make choices that better their lives or make the day worth living or gives them peace of mind or makes their heart beat faster. i chose you, you didn’t choose me. and if that’s the choice that makes you happiest, i can only support it, but i get to be hurt. and you get to read these words in the secrecy of your living room, late at night with the brightness down low, just in case, because even though you didn’t choose me, you still check up on me.

this post is about you. you upset me, baby

but you see, you don’t have me anymore. not fully. and one day soon, you won’t have me at all. you done lost your good thing now. because just like you’ve made your choices in life, i’ve made one too; you don’t have me. i will never beg someone to choose me.

it’s my own fault for falling for you, but i’m glad i did. to know i am capable of a feeling so strong is liberating. and now i’m free to experience someone who will receive it and reciprocate it if life allows. and if life doesn’t allow, that’s liberating as well. i’m not scared of anything.

i’ll survive without you.

b.b. king made music that touched my soul.

b.b. king was in the background of incredible moments in my life that involved you. but my life doesn’t involve you anymore.

you didn’t choose me.

i took this picture on august 12, 2018. the day before i met you. silly me, didn’t know what was about to smack me in the face.