i’ll have an iced, no whip, off my chest, latte, please.

i just purchased an iced, non-fat, chai latte with a shot of espresso from a chain coffee shop (that shall not be mentioned due to its’ normally satisfactory forms of fabrication) and i am so displeased.

i am displeased because

the choice to order it was unnatural,

the flavor is horrendous,

the consistency is, in fact, inconsistent,

the outcome, (although expected) is disappointing 

and the money i spent on this beverage is now funding further production of this nonsensical icy-liquid. 


and let me breakdown why my fingers are sporadically hitting the keys of my laptop to somehow verbally-regurgitate what i’m experiencing…


“…the choice was unnatural…”

why, oh why did i knowingly substitute my original taste preference to succumb to the low-calorie conundrum? why did i sacrifice the flavor and mouth-happiness all to save a few sit-ups and jumping jacks at the gym?

real life translation: why do i do things to please others when i am consciously forfeiting the me that i think is pretty dope?

“…the flavor is horrendous…”

each sip is somewhat agonizing and yet here i am, holding the cold cup in hand, letting it burn my tongue with each suck of the straw.

real life translation: if something is not pleasing to me, why do i continue to do it? if something is in my life that is not benefiting my well-being, why do i keep taking it in?

“…the consistency is, in fact, inconsistent…”

there are chunks of what i believe to be a mix of curdled milk and chai powder at the bottom of this plastic container. this doesn’t feel good going down my throat…

real life translation: if i make a promise, why am i not fulfilling it? why am i letting down the people i love? why can i not hold myself accountable anymore?

“…the outcome (although expected) is disappointing…”

as soon as the words, “non-fat” and “chai” and “latte” rolled off my compromising tongue, a shiver went down my spine. my mouth dried up. my stomach cringed.

real life translation: hello?!?!??!?!?! if i knew damn well that i was not going to appreciate what i chose, why did i do it? if i knew the outcome would be anything but favorable or constructive, why on earth did i make myself do it?

“…and the money i spent on this beverage is now funding further production of this nonsensical, icy-beverage…”

all businesses are selling a product and if the consumers are interested, (based on price, preference and elasticities) the quantity demanded will increase. if the product is not being purchased, the company is likely to discontinue the product. i just contributed to keeping that potion on the shelves.

real life translation: why do i allow negativity to be restocked? why do i let people and bad choices continue to enter and recycle in my life? why do i pay into things that are bringing me down and making me unhappy?


i just stood up and threw the full drink away. i slam-dunked that watered-down, bad choice into the darkness of the trashcan. i just stomped back into the line and proudly ordered my iced americano with cream and classic sweetener. i am happily sipping and tasting the choice that i clearly made for myself. 


thank you corporate coffee house, you have awakened me in two very important ways this morning. 


small pic of me because you all haven’t seen me in a while. so, here i am. i yam what i yam.


say it to my face, dude. (enter your comment below, i love all forms of feedback)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s