maybe “love” has always been vivaciously beckoning, i just wasn’t listening.
but as i grow and cognitively mature, i see it now and i feel all of it now and they are intoxicating feelings.
i am in ludus with whomever i deem deserving. i am artful, playful and flirtatious with any man i choose to. with a wink, a soft touch, a playful roast or a blatant comment, i display ludus for them. whether he’s my age or he was maneuvering a car the day that i was born, i am in ludus with these men.
i am in philia with my closest friends. when we heave our heads back in laughter at the same nonsensical things, my philia deepens. when we stand side by side on the battlefield against any and all opposing forces, my philia deepens. when we sit in silence and understand exactly what is not being said, my philia deepens. females, yes, and i am in philia with each of them.
i am in pragma with my siblings. a fortified tolerance, deepened understanding and long-lasting practicality exists between the souls of siblings. if i’m lucky, my older brother will come to me for advice, and i too, will learn from my younger sister. it’s a beautiful bond. an unbreakable blood-line. a sincere understructure. and i am in pragma with them.
i am in eros
with desire itself. my paucity in the subject matter of sex is prevalent but the ambition and fascination is there, nonetheless. while my mind is not a swirling mess of sexual voracity and erotic lust, i crave such a concord with another human being at some appropriate connection. i am in eros with it.
i am in agape with everyone. acquaintances hold value. masses of people enchant me. strangers have stories that are screaming to be told. beauty is, as they say, in the eye of the beholder, but beauty is in every human on the planet, thriving or at rest. my agape extends to you as you read this because your time and attention is so precious and you’re spending it here, for at least a moment. i am in agape with everyone.
i am in philautia with me. continuously looking back at my past has stopped. constantly analyzing my appearance has remarkably dwindled. my serenity has elevated. i am comfortable in my skin and my health and my morals and i believe laughter is the best medicine and that i am intelligent and that i do have a purpose. i am in philautia with me.
i am truly,
and i hope you are too.