for the moment (who knows how long this will last) i am feeling happy.
i am feeling peaceful.
i am feeling God.
i am not, nor have a ever been a “shove-the-cross-at-your-face-recite-scripture-read-the-bible-every-night-and-attend-church-every-sunday” type of girl and here’s why; faith is between you, whoever you believe in and nobody else. when has anyone, in the history of time, thoroughly enjoyed being told what to do, what to believe, what to feel? why people continually push their “religions” upon others is disheartening to me, personally. i feel that if you sincerely want to convey the beauty and power of your belief, you should simply lead by example. lead with love and compassion and understanding and positivity and honesty and some more love and when people ask why you live this way or how you live this way, give the credit where you believe the credit is due.
which brings me to the point of this post. i rarely take into account all the amazing things that i’ve had and have at the moment. and when i seldom do count my blessings, more often than not, i pat myself on the back. like, “good job, self. you really did swell. go buy yourself a coffee or a new pair of running shorts.” mind you, every now and then, that is absolutely okay….like i said, “give the credit where you believe the credit is due,” however, i’m leaving out a very valuable asset to my life; the big G-O-D. he’s my higher power and all this, all this opportunity, this freedom, this chance, health, ability, financial capability, and every thing else that is ultimately out of my hands, has to be credited towards big guns upstairs. and i need to remind myself about that more frequently.
i mean, come on. i got to uproot, once again, to where ever i wanted, and now i’m living in a beautiful city, in a beautiful state. scored a perfect job that fits my worldly desires (coffee and hummus). although, i was kicked out, i had/have an awesome place of stay for june and there are so many available housing options for me for july/august. i have some seriously-solid back-up plans if i do decide that i should move elsewhere. i have awesome friends (although not within the state) that i can call at anytime and get honest feedback and advice. a mother who has stood back and let me do whatever i feel is best for myself while supporting me either way. a sweet ride with a bangin’ sound system. and all the little things, like perfect iced-americanos, and sunny days, and safe running paths, a working laptop, a phone, food, water, a bed, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera….
so, if i’m honestly giving credit where credit is honestly due, thank you God. you da man.